I’ve been virtually absent again the last couple of months.  I’m trying to catch up now and to start finding time for what I had planned to do, after a period of reacting to events.  I’ll use this post as a way to catch up my correspondence.  I’m sorry if I’m late replying to anything you sent me.

After Glenn’s death last Summer, I started looking for places to live in Point Marion, Pennsylvania, where my parents are in assisted living.  My sister has been looking after them almost single-handedly for the last couple of years, and I wanted to move closer to lend a hand.  I was going to take my time settling my and Glenn’s affairs in Baltimore, and gradually make the move.

I looked at a number of places in September, none of which worked out.  My plans had to be abandoned after October 8th, when my father suffered a heart attack and had a stent placed in one of his arteries.  He was told that after his discharge, he would need to go to cardiac rehabilitation three times a week for three months, so I had to find housing right away so I could be there to drive him.  I’d hoped to be within walking distance of my parents’ home, but had to take a year’s lease on an apartment in Morgantown, West Virginia, about five miles away.

I was able to get back to Baltimore for a retreat the last weekend of the month, then my sister called me Monday morning to say my mother was in the hospital this time.  During the course of her stay, she developed congestive heart failure from IV fluids, and was in for 11 days. She came home on a Friday, and when I went to pick up Dad for rehab the following Monday, he said his chest hurt. He had another heart attack, and had two more stents placed.  He’ll see his cardiologist this week, then hopefully will be cleared to start rehab again.

During the course of all this, we also had hospitalizations of my niece and my nephew, knee injuries to my sister and brother-in-law, three hospitalizations in my brother-in-law’s family, and one in my sister-in-law’s.  I lost track of how many trips I made back-and-forth from Baltimore.  In brighter-but-also-time-consuming news, I started working at freshmeat (now Freecode) part time again in September, and have had to keep a more regular work schedule than my freelance jobs require.

This is the first week I’ve started to catch my breath, and the first time I’ve brought enough furnishings back that the apartment feels like a home.

I may have to give up our house in Baltimore. I had hoped I’d be able to keep it for a year or two and move on when I felt ready, but all these crises have set a different pace.  When I saw I’d have to leave quickly, at least for the Winter, I hoped to rent it furnished as it is so that I could come back to it someday and it would still remind me of Glenn, but everyone I’ve talked with says that people who rent houses in our area expect them to be completely empty so they can move their own things in.  Using a housesitter like we did in 2010 wouldn’t help pay my West Virginia rent, and would just leave me worrying about what’s happening back there.

It’s looking as though, whatever I do, everything of Glenn’s will have to go, and I may just sell the house if all I’d have is an empty shell to come back to, with Glenn’s fingerprints scrubbed clean. If it won’t have any strong ties to Glenn, it’s starting to feel like one more thing to worry about.  I can’t afford (in time, money, or worry) to maintain the apartment in West Virginia and the house in Maryland, so I need to be at the one and somehow settle the other.  I’ve brought enough bits and pieces of home to West Virginia that it will hopefully feel comfortable and familiar, and I’m making arrangements with Glenn’s friends to walk through the house and pick things they’d like to have as mementos of him.  At least I’ll feel better knowing that if the house had to be left so suddenly, his things weren’t just thrown away, but moved to where they’ll prompt smiles and memories for people who loved him.

The other house news is that, after a year and a half on the market, my parents’ home went to closing last Wednesday.  We might have hoped for better timing so I didn’t have to tell them about it over Thanksgiving dinner, but can be glad it’s finally off our minds and being enjoyed by a family once again.

I hope I’ll have time now for some of the things I promised to do.  In the meanwhile, I’ll spend the holiday giving thanks that the phone hasn’t rung and I haven’t seen any ambulances rolling down the Point Marion road.  I hope all’s quiet and peaceful with you.

As my family did with our father’s last year, my cousin Patty has had my Uncle Ken’s 8mm home movies digitized. He got an even earlier start and took twice as much footage, almost two hours going back to 1958:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?p=363258CDC87905EA

There’s even a few seconds of a three-year-old ring bearer, who (I’m told) broke into tears when he had to walk up the aisle with everyone looking at him, and had to be escorted by the bride and her father.

As before, please share any comments and ideas you have about what we’re looking at, who’s who, when they might have been taken, etc. I’ve put what we know about them so far in the description under each.

Many thanks to Patty for making these available. In addition to a lot of charming footage of Uncle Ken, Aunt Lena, and the kids, there are plenty more scenes of my generation at family gatherings, and it’s wonderful to have these memories available to us all.

of the five canisters sent to the developing company, two turned out to be empty upon opening. the remaining three have been developed, and as much of the images rescued as they could manage. it’s not pretty, but if you know the players involved, you can make out enough to see what’s happening. wish we could hop back to the 70s and march dad over to the drug store with the film.

on the bright side, a lock box which i thought contained coins instead turned out to have miscellaneous papers and one more developed reel, from rose’s wedding. it starts out dark, but stick with it, and you’ll see some wonderful shots of the extended family out in the parking lot.

they’ve all been added to the end of the playlist:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=A52CB5B1A04864C8

that’s all for now! unless… patty, what did you say?

thanks to all my brothers and sisters and their families for their work in getting it ready. we’re heartbroken to see it go, but as someone said, it’s been a good house to us, and it’s a pleasure to think of someone else’s kids running up and down the stairs and having the enjoyment of it like we did.

wish us luck, and pass the word along to anyone you know who may be interested.

i’ve started transferring dad’s 8mm films to digital formats. i hoped
to do them all in a go, but it turned out that five of the reels were
exposed, but never developed. the ones which were are now here:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=A52CB5B1A04864C8

wonderful views of my brother jim and myself as the cutest preschooler
and the crankiest baby ever, respectively.

i’ll be looking for someone who can try developing the remaining reels
to finish the collection. in the end, i’d like to put them all together
in a dvd to share with the extended covey and mcmurray families.

if you were there at the time or have heard family stories, we could use
your help! we need any dusty memories you can recall about these
movies, who’s in them, when they may have been taken, and any other fun
facts about them. please post your comments under them, and feel free
to forward this to anyone who may be interested or able to help.

the titles i’ve given the videos (in quotation marks) are what was
written on the side of each reel, the only information which was
included with them.

in the description next to each, i put what i was able to gather from
watching them with mom and dad. (you’ll have to click “more info” to
see all of the text.)

with a couple of exceptions, there were no dates on the reels, so
they’re in a semi-arbitrary order. if we can figure out what years
they’re from, i’ll try to arrange them chronologically, and make a final
dvd with a chapter title for each explaining what it is.

so get those grey cells going, and let’s see what we can figure out
together!

first, glenn, the least dramatic part. we’re coming up on the first anniversary of his being wheelchair-bound and needing constant care. he’s been in and out of the hospital repeatedly since thanksgiving. nine weeks is the longest he’s managed to stay home. there’s been nothing new in his condition this summer, just the same pattern of getting an infection, going to the e.r., getting it treated, coming home, starting again. our warmest thanks to everyone for their moral support, and especially to those who were near enough to lend practical support as well. please keep us in your thoughts.

the real adventure has been back in west virginia. because of glenn, i haven’t been able to be there, but here’s what i’ve gathered from the many phone conversations:

it started with my mother having a sudden bout of fainting spells. she was admitted to the hospital in fairmont and given emergency surgery to install a pacemaker. the night after the surgery, she suffered a stroke.

my brothers and sisters started arriving to help. my brother jim came up from florida, and as he was driving dad home from the hospital, a car hit them head-on. it flipped over them and landed on its roof. the driver suffered minor injuries. my brother broke his right foot and his left hip, and my father broke six ribs and broke his sternum in five places. (he’d traveled that stretch of road regularly for nearly a century. what a time to be in his first wreck!)

they were rushed to the hospital in morgantown. through the perseverance of my brothers and sisters, dad was transferred to fairmont the day of his 61st wedding anniversary, and the rehab staff treated him and mom to as romantic a dinner as a ward could manage.

when jim was discharged, he returned to my parents’ house to recuperate, and was eventually cleared to return to florida. he flew back and was in the hospital again the next night with a blood clot. at the same time, dad developed blood poisoning and went back to morgantown for two surgeries. mom moved on to a rehabilitation center, where dad hopes to join her as soon as he’s able.

my brothers and sisters are putting in long days on the million tasks to be done, and renovating the house in preparation for my parents’ return.

the phone hasn’t rung today, so let’s hope we’ve reached the end of the ride! i hope peace has settled and everyone will be home and healing by winter. thanks to everyone who’s shared a kind word as this has unfolded. let’s look forward to some long, boring, predictable months to come.